is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
