he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
