I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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