When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
