a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I believe in your delicious
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
