got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
