Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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