We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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