ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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