what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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