so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
