You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
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I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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