Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
