He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
