Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
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