I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
