I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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