My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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