Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
