It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
