Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
