You really coming over, don't trick.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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