I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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