let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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