When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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