He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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