why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
