Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
