the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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