Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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