if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
