you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
