he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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