are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
