I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
