just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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