Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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