Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
