i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i out mim tonsoeep
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