I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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