Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
