Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize