is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
