you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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