I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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