so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
