He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
