She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
