Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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