ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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