I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
did you just send me my own nude
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
