I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
