But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
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Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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