Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
