dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize