I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize