Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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