After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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