4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I could make wine with my vomit
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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