we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
