we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize