just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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