Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
