I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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