So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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