u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
