I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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