i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
