Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
